6 Honest Ways to Build a Healthy Relationship With Money
Having a healthy relationship with money influences many aspects of life. Likewise, harboring a negative money relationship hinders various life areas. A person who doesn’t value, understand, and manage their finances will always struggle, regardless of how much money they have.
What Does an Unhealthy Relationship With Money Look Like?
An unhealthy or toxic relationship with money can involve:
- Maxing out credit cards.
- Making minimum payments.
- Being afraid to check account balances.
- Impulse shopping.
- Having a scarcity mindset.
- Holding negative beliefs about money.
Having a negative money relationship creates an inner energy of anxiety and constant stress, heavily impacting your personal relationships and your relationship with yourself. Learning how to fix a bad relationship with money is necessary to experience overall wellness.
Signs of a Healthy Relationship With Money
A healthy relationship with money looks like creating a financial plan, living without debt, having an emergency fund, and knowing the joy of guilt-free spending and financial freedom. It’s not an overnight accomplishment but an active pursuit of that goal.
Some people are fortunate to have parents, teachers, and mentors who help them develop positive money relationships during formative years.
Others are left to struggle forever or take the initiative to educate themselves and take action to get out of the debt cycle and poverty mindset that comes with entertaining an unhealthy relationship with money.
These financial truths helped me stop making detrimental money mistakes and start maintaining a healthy money relationship.
1. Take an Honest Assessment of Your Relationship With Money
Start by honestly assessing your current financial situation. Remember, this isn’t about self-judgment, but lying about the reality of your money relationship do you zero favors in building a healthier situation for your present and future.
Ask yourself what money beliefs you hold. Are they positive or negative? Are you trying to keep up with the status of your social circle, influencer, or celebrity style with an unaccommodating budget?
Do you make smart decisions with your money? Do you never spend for fear of not having enough? Do you overspend to overcompensate for never having things growing up?
Now is the time to fully assess your current relationship with finances, identify where to make changes, understand the need for the changes, and implement a plan to achieve them.
2. Create and Follow a Budget
The next step is to develop money accountability by creating a monthly budget that works for you. Several budgeting styles and formats include pen and paper, spreadsheets, or budgeting apps.
You find which method best suits you and proceed from there. Start by calculating fixed bills such as mortgage or rent. Then, track all monthly expenses to determine where your income goes, including your money-wasters.
After assessing your situation:
- Cut unnecessary financial drains on your wallet.
- Set reasonable budgets for things like entertainment.
- Continue tracking expenses.
- Revisit your budget monthly for changes.
It’s important to note that while it may take some trial and error, the benefits are worth it. By sticking with the process, you’re not just creating a budget but building positive money habits and nurturing a healthy relationship with money.
3. Embrace a Positive Money Mindset

Harness the immense power of your mind to transform your money mindset into one of abundance. This shift, when believed in and practiced, can work wonders. Don’t wait for the ‘right’ financial situation; start now.
Are you negative in your bank account? Start now. Do you not know how you’re going to pay for the water or electric bill before they cut service off again? Start affirming your wealth now.
Begin by spending four to five minutes daily saying your money affirmation. For example, “I always have more money than I need; I can not help but attract abundance into my life.”
You can also write your affirmation out ten times per day. To attract money, you need to believe that you can make money and hold positive beliefs about money.
4. Learn How to Deny Yourself
Learn how to start denying yourself today for the more extraordinary things of tomorrow. Many people hear the word deny and immediately go to a negative. However, denying yourself insignificant purchases that feed impulses short-term means adding so much more overall value to your life long-term.
It’s no secret that we’re constantly bombarded with messages to consume. From targeted advertising to societal norms, it can feel overwhelming. But the truth is, you don’t need an overflowing wardrobe, every streaming service, or the latest tech gadgets.
You have the power to resist these pressures. These are societal expectations, not personal necessities. Yet, we often succumb to these temptations, seeking short-term satisfaction.
Do they align when considering your possessions versus what you want from life? I once knew a guy with a room full of Nike boxes filled with near-perfect-condition shoes, but he always needed a ride because he didn’t have a car.
He also didn’t want to walk and ruin his Jordans in the Washington rain. Do you understand that he could own and maintain a vehicle for what he spent on shoes every week? He didn’t. The image was more important to keep up.
Learning to deny yourself the ‘luxuries’ of today leads to building stability and wealth for your tomorrow.
5. Set Clear Financial Goals
Setting clear financial goals and taking the necessary steps to achieve them is imperative for a healthy money relationship. Make some short-term and longer-term financial goals. What do those goals look like for you?
Some examples of short-term goals include:
- Build an emergency fund (3-6 months expenses).
- Paying off credit card debt.
- Planning for a vacation.
- Improving your credit score.
- Paying off debts.
- Saving up for a car and/or house.
Some examples of long-term financial goals include:
- Saving for retirement.
- Paying off your mortgage.
- Paying off student loans.
- Launching your own business.
- Real estate investments.
- Saving for college.
It’s important to celebrate accomplishing your financial goals. It helps motivate you to make more and keep moving forward. What does celebrating look like to you?
6. Replace Bad Money Habits With Good Money Habits
Replace impulse shopping, living paycheck to paycheck, and maxing out credit cards with budgeting, planning, and saving. Acknowledge and feel good about replacing your old bad money habits with positive ones.
Dig deep into your specifics. For example, do you waste money every day at the coffee shop? Buy an espresso machine and start making your coffee at home. Put the money you spend on daily coffees into building your emergency fund.
Do you know that you cannot resist tossing things into your grocery cart and spending more than you can afford but fear asking the cashier to put things back? Always eat before grocery shopping and shop with a list. Some people find relief in placing their orders for curbside pickup. There are typically no service or tipping fees when you pick up the groceries, so it’s not an added expense like grocery delivery services.
Like all life’s habits, forming money habits takes time and may involve trial and error. Don’t quit. Undoing a lifetime of poor money habits can be challenging. Still, it’s possible, and you’re doing it. Keep going, and don’t forget to celebrate your wins.
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Elizabeth Ervin helps people embrace a change in money mindset to achieve their financial goals. After struggling for a decade as a single mother, consumed by the American debt cycle, she recognizes the value of financial education and lifestyle changes and aspires to motivate others to make those changes to obtain financial freedom. She heavily advocates for praying about and over your finances and speaking positive money affirmations to manifest abundance.